strive for an emotional balance

topic of the day 058 & movie in real life 002

Inside and Out of me

It had crossed my mind before how the grand concept of Inside Out would apply to my own life but never actually write it down to fully extend the application. With the recent entry with A Quiet Place and seeing the world through the eyes of the protagonists in the film, I was again inspired to search for films that I could view from my own personal point of view hence this particularly unique premise of Pixar's Inside Out!

If you remember from the animation (how could you, it was unforgettable for me!), our mind's inner workings are represented by the Headquarters  and it is controlled by five personifications of our basic emotions: Joy, Sadness, Anger, Disgust and Fear, which are shaped by your own personalities. As we grow up, our experiences become memories that are stored in coloured orbs and would be sent into long-term memory each night. The one trait of the premise that intrigues me the most is the core memories that are the most important and housed in a hub, with each powers an aspect of our personality which takes the form of floating islands. In the movie, Riley's de facto leader is Joy and the whole storyline is about them finding the purpose of Sadness in her life. I might have my own journey to go through and it might be quite different than the teenage Riley which is the main reason of this particular post!

Leader: Joy - Conflict: Anger

Okay, based on my own personality, I believe Joy is the leader among my five emotions since I do not have any reason to feel Disgust (except the occasional rat carcasses I had to throw out ... I'm not disgust of the society, yet) while Fear is just me being cautious of my surroundings (when I cover myself with water during bath and when I turn off the lights downstairs and had to go up to my room in the dark with my back towards the darkness ... yeah). Sadness is just me being emphatic and sympathetic towards others when I watch the news or just when I watch sad scenes on television or movies (yeah, I can't help myself ...) and the only conflict that I could come up with is Anger. I am usually a reserved person but when something ticks me, I would tend to keep it to myself until it blows up in an ugly, hostile bomb. It happened a number of times in the past with my younger brother and unfortunately with my last girlfriend as I was brought up to my boiling point. I try to learned from my past mistakes and I hope it won't happen again in the future. The leader, Joy, would help me control the others since I am surrounded with things that would bring me, well, joy and I would do daily things that would keep me entertained day after day. I am quite stable in my own opinion. Well, maybe not in the eyes of others. How about you?

1st island - Army

This should be the first one in my life since my father is a reserved soldier himself and because of this close approximation with it that I was intrigued to join in during my high school with PKBM and then being one myself. It is what effectively built up my characters and discipline in my youth and I am forever grateful for that. Even though I wasn't under contract anymore (which I am inclined to join back soon), I will forever be one with my correct posture and my clasped hands at the back be the two main things that I won't shake off anytime soon. 

2nd island - Wrestling

Coming in late at the tail-end of the Attitude Era, I experienced the medium at its heights under WWE (then WWF) when kayfabe wasn't broken yet and I was swept by wave of untamed energy. After a few years away from it, I came back to it with the knowledge of the business and how it is run to entertain the viewers, with the performers coordinate the matches safely yet still entertain us with their professional moves. I don't even care that it's not as real as my child self thought so before since I know they are there as a result of hard works and everything they do hurt no matter how careful they are. Even if I'm not actually involved directly with the sport, I can say my passion for it never dies and since it is only me who gets the medium in this way (if you've read my previous articles on it, you'll understand), it is a definite island of its own.

3rd island - Creative

Ever since I restarted my drawing many months ago (a year ago?), it reignites my passion again especially if there is a subject material to based it on and being inspired by. My recent craze for Funko POP! makes me want to draw something myself again ever since my last attempts in my high school before, waking up the dormant creative muscles and making it a second nature just like it used to. Now already venturing out of my comfort zone into drawing a typical fight doodles and then an unconventional comic, I am looking forward to see much I can improve upon myself and knowing that there are people out there that keep coming here to see my works (even though they won't ever send me a message, like at all ... yes, I'm still bitter!) is enough to motivate me to keep going down this creative lane. I wish I would know what you guys would actually want to see ... 

4th island - English

This is the biggest one yet for me, as my relentless pursuit for this second language from the minute I learned it in the primary school to better myself in mastering it until I 'get' a Bachelor's Degree in it. My passion for the once foreign language has never evaporate at all as I strive to excel in it in every step of the way, being known as the expert in my class while I'll try to help others when I could. Even though I can't actually use my expertise to teach others who need my help at the moment, I am channeling it to my blog with this constant use of English without stopping. 

5th island - Pop culture

I might not be too aware of pop culture properties in my youth but now looking back retrospectively, I know I am quite fond of movies and shows that came out then and now being much more educated on the matter, I can't help myself from being enveloped by them twenty four hours a day across all genres and mediums as the most diverse island, just before the fourth one of course.

The one I could not live without is English since it is the gateway to the others, aside from the first island. 

Hm ... that's about it I think. This is my own personality traits and my own personality islands. How about you?