an innocent perspective is one without any bias or prejudice

topic of the day 018

Learned something when my son's flag football team

played an all-girls team

My son (10) is playing flag football and his team is not good. So I get to the field and see something odd; is that girls team playing against us?
I was blown away right off the bat. Was there something wrong? What is going on? I've never ever seen an all girls team playing boys in a kids sports league.
Parents around the field (on our side and even passerby) seemed to have the same thoughts.
My dad was visibly annoyed. "This is going to be unfair!" he laughed. "Damn liberals!"
And so the game went on and it became very clear; the girls were good. In flag football, at ages 8-10, physical toughness means almost nothing. Most plays are interceptions or running plays. The quarterbacks aren't that great and there is no blocking. So all you need to succeed is positioning (aided by the coach on the field) and being quick. To be fair there are really skilled players, but not many.
So the game went on and my son's team lost by 4-5 touchdowns. We ended up throwing 3 interceptions in a row. It was a slaughter.
My dad and others on our side were annoyed. My dad openly mocked (in a light way) my son. "You got beat by girls!" he laughed. The team looked really sad. As we walked away I heard a random dad on the sideline gleefully telling his friend that a girl team just beat a boy team.
But then I saw the parents of the girls who were next to our parents. I watched them and saw this deep, deep pride. I saw it in the coach of the girl's team. They were so damn happy that their girls were able to kick some ass. I honestly wanted to give them all hugs. Because the parents heard the underhand comments of the NFL dads on the sidelines. They heard the jokes. But they just wanted to watch some football and cheer on their kids.
That night I was not able to turn off my brain. "You've failed your son." "He is going to be mocked for the rest of his life." "But maybe he is okay.. it isn't a big deal." "But if that happened when I was a young boy I'd be laughed at forever."
Fast forward to the next day and I take my son to get some Mexican food and I casually brought up the night before. And telling him how I felt (a mix of pride in the girls team, that girls around the world have never been able to do certain things because people didn't let them, that men and even women will say girls can't do things, but that their are differences in ability in men and women (you'll never see a woman beating a world champion male MMA fighter for example), but that at a certain age and for certain sports there is no difference)... but after I told him I could tell it wasn't even a big deal for him. He shrugged and said, "Ya they were good. Our team sucks. No big deal."
And then it hit me. Because I've raised my son honestly and without prejudice (the best I can), because he wasn't brought up in a world of over-the-top sexism and because he is just fucking smart (sorry, gotta brag) he already knew what I told him. He was already over it. To him it was just a better team beating his team because they had a better coach and had a better game.
Now looking back I think this will be a positive experience for him. He saw the ugliness of the world (the parents, the societal feeling that men are ALWAYS stronger than girls) and at the same time he saw the beauty (that you should wait to judge people based on their actions, girls and boys aren't monolithic creatures, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, being better means playing better).

off of r/TwoXChromosomes

What?

A real life situation whereby a father seen the difference of viewpoint between himself and his son when his team was beaten by a girls team.

Who?

The father was being clouded with his own experience in life and the societal prejudice against woman while the son simply saw the match as it was: his team was beaten by a much better team, as simple as that.

How?
Our own journey through adolescence and into adulthood would shape how we view the world and that includes everything that was for and against any particular group or individual or belief or everything else for that matter and the aforementioned father should be complimented in trying his best to raise the kid up without viewing anything or anyone else in a negative light.

Why?

If everything is viewed to be political or leaning towards a certain agenda, we would only fooling ourselves in grouping everybody in their own specific groups and telling yourself they are trying to push their ideologies against us. If you view the world as objectively as possible, we would view every human in the same light as we're looking at ourselves in the mirror and they deserve as much respect in everyday life no matter their sex, race, ideology, etc.

Then?

Whether we were subconsciously viewing everything around us consciously or subconsciously in a certain perspective that's positive or negative, we should always try to be neutral and objective as much as possible since you would affect how others view the world, especially your family members and children.

So?
We might be influenced by our surroundings in real life and the people around us but when the kids would have better honest opinions than yours, we should at least take it into consideration.

Lesson Learned:

"The best perspective is one without any bias and prejudice."